Today, is my 3 year dating anniversary with my now wife!
I had the opportunity to think, while in my office, of my dating journey. It's good to reflect on your past and take notes of God's goodness. If you don't reflect regularly let me encourage you to do it!
(Think about it, God designed the people of Israel to remember significant events in Israel's history through various celebrations and festivals. It's important that we celebrate and remember the milestones within our life.)
What attracted me to my wife Kim, as we were dating, and what I believe is the key element Christian guys should look for (other than the obvious is she Godly) is that my wife let me lead!
What most people do not know about our dating relationship is that I decided after our first few dates that I wanted some space to think, pray, and make sure I was spiritually ready to date. For six months I decided to wait, pray, and seek confirmation from God to proceed.
During those six months Kim won me over by letting me lead. She made it known by small and non-verbal ways that she was supporting me. She was not flirty. She did not come across as desperate by calling or texting me regularly but allowed me to make the first move for any type of invitation.
God has designed for the man to lead! No questions.
Men, if your girlfriend won't allow you to spiritually lead while dating she won't think about allowing you to lead while married. Why? Because the pattern of leadership has already been set in place from the beginning.
My advice: Young men, look for Godly women that will allow you to spiritually lead and take the initiative in the relationship.
Young women, look for Godly men that will gently lead you in a loving way. A way that is firm yet gentle and tender. A way that is not coercive and leads you on.
That is how God has designed the roles for the dating relationship!
Don't believe me.....simply read
Ephesians 5:22 - Woman's role is to be a submissive servant
"Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord."
Ephesians 5:25 - Husband's role is to be a loving leader
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."
The dating relationship is likened to that of a dance. The man is the initiator in asking the woman to dance and even on the dance floors she intuitively follows his lead.
Do not rush the process, otherwise, you'll wind up in a relational pickle. God's ways are best!
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