Friday, August 29, 2014

The Make or Break Element Christians Guys Should Look For When Dating! (Must Read for Women Too)

Today, is my 3 year dating anniversary with my now wife!
 
I had the opportunity to think, while in my office, of my dating journey. It's good to reflect on your past and take notes of God's goodness. If you don't reflect regularly let me encourage you to do it!
 
(Think about it, God designed the people of Israel to remember significant events in Israel's history through various celebrations and festivals. It's important that we celebrate and remember the milestones within our life.)
 
What attracted me to my wife Kim, as we were dating, and what I believe is the key element Christian guys should look for (other than the obvious is she Godly) is that my wife let me lead!
 
What most people do not know about our dating relationship is that I decided after our first few dates that I wanted some space to think, pray, and make sure I was spiritually ready to date. For six months I decided to wait, pray, and seek confirmation from God to proceed.
 
During those six months Kim won me over by letting me lead. She made it known by small and non-verbal ways that she was supporting me. She was not flirty. She did not come across as desperate by calling or texting me regularly but allowed me to make the first move for any type of invitation.
 
God has designed for the man to lead! No questions.
 
Men, if your girlfriend won't allow you to spiritually lead while dating she won't think about allowing you to lead while married. Why? Because the pattern of leadership has already been set in place from the beginning.
 
My advice: Young men, look for Godly women that will allow you to spiritually lead and take the initiative in the relationship.
 
Young women, look for Godly men that will gently lead you in a loving way. A way that is firm yet gentle and tender. A way that is not coercive and leads you on.
 
That is how God has designed the roles for the dating relationship!
 
Don't believe me.....simply read
 
Ephesians 5:22 - Woman's role is to be a submissive servant
"Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord."
 
Ephesians 5:25 - Husband's role is to be a loving leader
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."
 
The dating relationship is likened to that of a dance. The man is the initiator in asking the woman to dance and even on the dance floors she intuitively follows his lead.
 
Do not rush the process, otherwise, you'll wind up in a relational pickle. God's ways are best!
 
 

Monday, August 25, 2014

The POWER of THREE! (What it takes to Disciple Teenagers)

 

I CALL IT........THE POWER OF THREE!



I believe that all teenagers need at least THREE Godly voices in their life.

Hopefully, a teenager has two Godly parents and another adult they can turn to for advice. Unfortunately, most teenagers don't have two God fearing parents so it is even more crucial that they have additional positive voices within their life.

(It is now abnormal for teenagers to live in same parent homes. In the youth groups that I've worked in I'd say that 60% of the teenagers that we reached came from broken homes).

We all know that teenagers are starting to develop their independence. This is backed up by psychological research. The reason that teenagers need at least three Godly voices within their life is that, even if their parents know the Lord, most students when they are teenagers will not follow their parent's example simply for the fact that they are trying to become autonomous. Teenagers will 'buck' their parents because it's all they've known and they are spreading their wings to fly!

This is why it is imperative that parents get another Godly adult to come alongside of them and offer Godly counsel to their teenager. (Also, do not take this personally parents of teenagers. Remember, when you were a teenager? You didn't want to listen to your parents either. It's ok to get help and it will only make your parenting stronger if you have another Godly adult whom your student can turn to for help).

In my experience, the power of three also holds true. This past Sunday we had a youth team meeting with all the adults who will be investing into our youth program's teenager's lives this year. When the question was brought up: Why do you want to work with teenagers? Almost everyone said: Because I had someone invest into my life who made a difference OR because I want to stem the tide of students who are walking away from the faith after high-school. Disciples do not grow on trees they are forged through Godly mentor relationships with older and wiser believers.

Why do I believe in the power of three? Because God used a youth intern while I was in high-school to help mentor and provide direction to me during a foundational and difficult time of my upbringing. I believe in the power of three because I KNOW I needed someone other than my parents to turn to in high-school. I believe in the power of three because I KNOW as an adult what impact it can have on the next generation.

Do you believe in the power of three? Who has impacted you for Jesus? Who do you go to when you need Godly advice?

Are you investing into the next generation? We need Godly people to love on and rub shoulders with our teenagers...are you willing?



Monday, August 18, 2014

WATCH OUT WORLD IT'S KINGDOM ADVANCEMENT TIME LED BY OUR TEENAGERS - Axis Kick Off Recap '14


I believe our youth ministry is poised for great things this year. (No, I am not saying that because it's my job. I really believe that God is up to something BIG this year!)

When it comes to measuring spiritual growth in a person or in the corporate life of a group of believers it's hard to measure growth week to week. It's much easier to measure the growth of a group when you look back a year ago. Spiritual growth was evident within our youth ministry this past year!


Here are some areas in which I have seen spiritual growth and in which God has made it known that BIG things are in store for Axis Youth Ministry this Fall!



1. Numerical Growth - We had close to 200 teenagers and adults at our Axis Kick-Off this past Wednesday!

2. Boldness through Prayer - One of my goals this past year was to have our students develop a boldness in their prayer lives. My desire is to have our teenagers develop the ability to pray out loud with confidence to their Father. This past Wednesday we had a prayer time for our persecuted 'family' in the Middle East and at least 75% of our teenagers got in groups and prayed OUT LOUD with BOLDNESS to their Father!

3. Boldness in Sharing their Faith - We sent over 100 teenagers on some type of missional experience this summer. We sent groups to Hyden, KY; Philadelphia, PA, and Chicago, Ill. We had all of our mission trip teams share in front of our group and our students did a great job of verbalizing their passion and what they learned about the joys of sharing their faith with the group.

4. Initiators in being Friendly - While our Slip N Slide Kickball event was happening I witnessed many adult staff and teenagers going out of their way to greet visiting teenagers or students on the fringe! We did not just have a fun event to have a fun event...we had a purpose of reaching teenagers through that fun event. Big difference.

5. People Want to Jump on BoardI believe that winning breeds further winning. This year we have 11 new youth staff who want to join our team in building up and reaching teenagers. It's all about getting the right people on your team and we are well on our way!

We are off to a great start to our Fall programming in reaching lost teenagers, teaching them Godly principles, and equipping them for work of the ministry!

Watch out world because it's time to storm the gates of hell with an army of teenagers! (Let's be honest that's a scary picture, especially to Satan!)

We shared testimonies of what God did during the summer!

 We prayed with boldness!
 

We heard testimonies of what God did on our summer mission trips!

We prayed and commissioned our summer intern Chad!

How many teenagers can you fit into a 'kiddie' pool?
Answer: Just One More

Surf's up! Coming IN!

SAFE!

Monday, August 11, 2014

Did That Just Happen in ONE Year!?! (Thoughts on One Year in Goshen)

I constantly find myself trying to slow down a day, or life in general, but time flies by so quickly!

I have been working at Grace Community Church for a year starting tomorrow. Wow.

Today, I took some time to just think about what God has done in my life within the past year as I look to kick off some Fall ministry programming. Spending a few minutes reflecting each day is important. (If you do not reflect and examine your life let me encourage you to do so).

Socrates - "The unexamined life is not worth living"

Here are some examinations/reflections on this past year

 
1. It will take longer than you anticipate to get where you want to go so keep your goal in mind and keeping taking steps in the right direction! (You can only do so much in a year, but you can do a lot in five years)
2. Marriage truly gets better every day! I can honestly say that I love and am enamored with my wife today more than before!
3. I'm a two time Fight Club graduate!
4. I have completed two years of Ph.D. studies! I will be done with all of my precedent literature reading, prerequisite requirements, and two years of classes this week!
5. Loneliness is when God speaks the loudest! Don't try to fill up silenced time with noise. Learn to embrace quiet times.
6. I still believe youth ministry is where it's at in the ministry field! I stay relevant and young working with teenagers!
7. Building a team is crucial for effectiveness in ministry! Teams must buy into the vision and truly enjoy working together.
8. Don't allow work to impact your quality time with your wife/(family)!
9. Reaching lost people must be at the forefront of any ministry!
10. Our youth program is about to explode! Now is the time to structure and plan for future growth.
11. I enjoy preaching, but I need to keep working at honing my craft to get better!
12. For whatever reasons God keeps locating me to live in rural areas! As a rule of thumb I like suburban areas more. 
13. My Achilles heel is good junk food! I need to become more disciplined in this area.
14. Never be afraid to lead in an area where God has given you a passion! Ever!
15. Allow room for the Holy Spirit to work in your programming and structuring of events!
16. Have a hobby or activity in which you can just relax or let loose!
17. Past relationships are precious to me! Make sure when transitioning from ministries that the right things are said.
18. Make sure you stay malleable and flexible as a person! The day you are unopen to change in your life or the ministry in which you oversee is the day it starts to become stagnant and dies.
19. Do not take yourself too seriously! Seriously!
20. Reliance upon God becomes more and more focal to my daily existence! I realize this more than I did a year ago!
 
What is God teaching you this past year?!?


Monday, August 4, 2014

How to Develop a Servant's Heart in Teenagers

Leadership is a 'buzzword' in today's world.

Everybody wants to develop leadership traits and there are countless books written on the subject of leadership.

While I believe leadership is vital, (I'm working toward earning a doctorate in Leadership studies), I believe that we can push leadership too fast and too hard onto people. What we need to be doing is developing workers first and out of the workers to equip people for leadership roles.

Listen to what Jesus said:

Luke 10:1-2
"After this the Lord appointed seventy-two others and sent them two by two ahead of him to every town and place where he was about to go. He told them, “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field."

Here are two important observations:
1. Jesus believed in developing workers and servant leaders and he did this by sending people out on short term mission trips! (He sent seventy two people out two by two)
2. Jesus prayed that the people sent out would be workers in his harvest field, not leaders. We need to focus on developing a hard working spirit within teenagers and a servant's heart first before we put teenagers into positions of leadership!


Here are some ways in which you can develop a hard working kingdom attitude in the lives of teenagers

 

 

1. Send them out on mission trip experiences! Get them to be doer's of their faith. (This summer we sent over 100 teenagers on some type of mission trip experience).
2. Look out for teenagers that stay late to clean up after an event without being asked or who go the extra mile in setting up. Those are the teenagers worth investing extra time and effort into!
3. When giving teenagers upfront roles give those roles to the hardest working teenagers, even if they are not as good or as comfortable in front of people. Their servant's heart will be reflected back onto the group and at the minimum your teenagers will get the hint that if they desire an upfront leadership role they must work and serve first before getting an opportunity to lead.

"One of the worst things a pastor can do is give someone a leadership role before they are ready for it."

4. Give small groups of teenagers different roles to carry out during youth group. For example, greeters, clean-up crew, etc. (At my previous church I had a small group simply go around and make sure every student had a Bible during small group time. This gave the group something to work hard at doing and was also beneficial to the spiritual climate of our group).
5. You and your youth workers MODEL what a servant's heart looks like! Things are caught way more than taught. If you want your teenagers to be hard working and servant leaders than YOU must lead the way! Are you?!?
Students working hard during a mission trip in KY!
 
Students working hard edging a flower bed at Wicker Park during a Saturday mission experience/outreach in Chicago during Momentum!