1. Be present! Be physically close to the person that is grieving. Maybe the greatest gift you can give someone this Christmas season is your presence! There is something powerful about a person's presence. Your presence literally changes the atmospheric dynamic in a room. The very presence of Jesus will help in hard times. Joy is not the absence of suffering but it is the very presence of God. When you are present with someone who is hurting you are literally being Jesus in the flesh with that person.
Proverbs 18:24 - "A real friend sticks closer than a brother."
2. Feel their pain! You can't fake caring for someone. A person will know that you care by how you emotionally and mentally feel for them. This helps them knowing that you are carrying their pains and burdens as well. Jesus wept over the death of Lazarus because he cared. Our God is a God who cares and feels our pain. We need to let other people know that we care and feel their loss as well.
Romans 12:15 - "Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep."
3. Point others to Jesus with your words! During the darkest and worst times in my life the words of Scripture and Jesus have given me hope. Texting someone a particular verse or passage of Scripture can help them. One of the best things to say to someone is simply: I'm so sorry. This conveys your heartfelt hurt.
On the contrary, do NOT say things that minimize a person's loss. While you are trying to comfort them you are better off not saying anything than something like this:
"You'll get over this."
"You'd be surprised at how often this type of things happens."
"You have other family members or kids to be thankful for."
"I know what you are going through."
Never minimize a person's loss or share cliché churchy sayings. This hurts more than it helps. The only and true answer is Jesus. Point people to Him foremost, but do so in a proper and loving manner. Allow people to grieve and to search for the answers found in Jesus on their own.
