I regularly encounter and talk with parents who become alarmed when their teenager tells them that they are questioning God's existence or they've come to the conclusion that they are atheists.
Here's how a parent should respond:
1. Do not FREAK out! When you freak out you are more apt to over react and actually push your teenager farther from God.
Show unconditional love to your teenager. Your teenager is testing you to see if you love them even if they come to opposing conclusions about life as you do. If you do not love them through this trying time they will use that as evidence against you that God does not exist.
2. Understand that this is NORMAL! Teenagers are weighing what they believe against what they have been taught. In my experience, this happens routinely when teenagers are around the 10th grade. During this phase of life they think concerning questions about their freedom. All teenagers this age are asking the question: Why should I believe?
3. LISTEN and ASK QUESTIONS! In almost every case the teenager has been in deep thought, albeit it quietly, about this issue. Never give answers but give them an opportunity to voice their thinking and listen attentively.
4. Make a BET with them! Have your teenager understand that you are happy that they are seeking truth. Let them know that they are free to believe what they desire, because in a few years they will be out of your home, but that they must do the appropriate amount of homework to find truth while under your care.
5. ENLIST support help! Once your teenager has agreed to find truth get other people on your team that can help you. Enlist the support of a youth pastor who can meet regularly with and give resources to your teenager. Enlist prayer support of other parents.
In my experience, if you love your teenager though this process and do not coerce but guide them to the truth and enlist the support of others, than in many cases your teenager will come to eventually embrace God. The key is that they felt like they were able to share openly and do this on their own terms.
While struggling as a parent you can always BET on God!
