Counting God's Blessings During the Midst of Our Miscarriage!

In the history of our universe God has used EVERTHING for His good! When there is tragedy God is there. Where there is pain God is working through it. There has never been a time in my life when my God has left me. 

Connor Joseph Cosentino was born prematurely on November 19th, 2018. He was 16 weeks old. My wife went into labor on Saturday Night and her water broke on Sunday morning. A child's lungs are unable to develop without the water sac. Either my wife had an infection or something was just not right within her body. With no chance of development and survival Connor was born. 

My wife and I made a list and counted our blessings through the midst of this tragedy. We wanted to make sure that we remembered God for the good and blessings given to our family and NOT just for the ways in which we wished things had turned out. 

Here are the blessings God bestowed upon us during the process of our miscarriage!

1. God gave us Christian doctors and nurses! The doctor that my wife originally wanted as our OBGYN was the on call hospital doctor when we arrived. When it was inevitable that Connor was going to be delivered she prayed a powerful and heartfelt prayer over us. We had many nurses pray for us and ask if they could share our situation with others to gather more prayer. 

2. The body of Christ flexed it's muscles in support! My wife and I could not have more support from the body of Christ. We were flooded with text messages, phone calls, FB messages, cards, people wanting to walk with us in our pain, etc. Not only did our local church family step up to the plate but we are receiving care and support from people many miles away too!

3. I love my wife more than I ever have! Kim was brave and heroic. When I was a blubbering mess she was stable and supportive and vice a versa. This situation could have driven us further away or closer together. Through God's help we are more united and closer together then we have ever been. 

4. Connor was a boy! My wife and I thought that Connor was going to be a girl for many different reasons. The fact that Connor was a boy, in a way, was God speaking through my insecurities as a man. I have a desire to teach Biblical manhood to other younger men. This was a reaffirmation in my mind that God sees me as a capable father of a boy. 

5. Connor passed away before he was born! There was a chance that Connor would be born alive and that I would see him "move" outside the womb before passing. God was gracious to Kim & I that Connor passed away beforehand. 

6. Connor was born the day before Charis' birthday! Our hope was that Connor would arrive before Charis' birthday as we wanted to remember both events individually and not on the same day. Connor arrived approximately two hours before our daughter's birthday. 

7. Charis' birthday party! On Tuesday evening Kim and I had a small and intimate impromptu birthday party for Charis as we wanted to celebrate her and not sit in a lonely home. Charis received more presents than she will even get for Christmas and the support from friends and family was on full display. 

8. Fast Labor and no D&C surgery required! God was good in that Kim did not have a long labor and that no further surgery was required. 

9. Charis was in good hands! After church my wife and I rushed to the hospital. Friends in town watched Charis and Kim's family was also able to step up to the plate. We never had to worry about our daughter. Both our biological and church family greatly supported us in helping with Charis!

10. We received significant gifts/mementos! The hospital and many others gave gifts and significant things in which we will forever remember and praise God for our child throughout the years!

11. God's Word stuck with me like never before! Verses flooded my soul and provided strength and nourishment. My story was much like David's in that during the process there was extreme pain, confusion, and despair. Afterwards there was total and complete peace. I echo his words with the hope that I will one day see and talk with my son. 

2 Samuel 12:23 - "Why should I fast when he is dead? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him one day, but cannot return to me."

12. Glimpses into the future! God has used every tragedy and painful experience in my life for His good and for my betterment. I had a number of good conversations while in the hospital and my God is up to something good for the Cosentino family!

13. Got to watch the best NFL regular season game in the history of the NFL! The Monday Night game with the Chiefs & Rams is being hailed as the best regular season game ever. When I was in the hospital as a child I watched the last Pittsburgh Pirate no hitter. Whenever a Cosentino is in the hospital turn on ESPN because something incredible is going to happen. 

14. We love Charis more than ever before! When you lose something it makes you more appreciative of what you do have. We are thankful for Charis' energetic personality and zest for life!

15. We have ONE MORE thing to look forward to in heaven! Heaven is going to be incredible.....Eternal bliss with Jesus. It's not like I needed one more thing to look forward to in heaven BUT now I do....to meet my son. This takes some weight off of Kim & I's shoulders too. Connor is with Jesus. He won't have to suffer or struggle in this world and one day we will get to meet and be with him forever!

How To Survive the "Daily Grind!"

Life is a grind. There are constant struggles and battles. For many of us, there is no end in sight. "Giving up" regularly comes up in our thoughts and minds. We wish we could just escape from life and from others.

You just feel tired and down. The things that used to cheer you up don't (or at least not as much as they used too). Something drastically needs to change. If you feel this way then this post is for YOU.

How to survive the "Daily Grind!"

1. Embrace the Grind. This may run contrary to what you suspected. Yet, it's the other side of the coin that so few of us take time to think about. Everyone thinks of the "daily grind" as to how it is impacting us: tiredness, lack of joy, frustration, etc. Yet, the reason why you should persevere through the "daily grind" is to make the lives of those around you better. The fact that you are creating a better life for your family or to achieve your God sized dreams should make you want to embrace the "daily grind." The biggest lie is that what you are doing now won't be worth it in the end. Yet, if you push on you will be rewarded for your hard work. So when you are tired of the grind just think about WHY you are doing it. It's not just for you but for your family and for your legacy.

Lamentations 3:27 - "It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young." God is allowing the "daily grind" to refine us. Embrace this part of life and push on!

2. Healthy Balance. Once the "daily grind" takes over we give up the things we need the most first (sleep, good nutrition, exercise, margin in our lives, time with God, etc.) The best way to survive the grind is to come up with a list of non-negotiables that need to get done that day. If all you have time for are the top things in your list then it's still a successful day. In the end, you will go farther, be healthier, and do more in your life because you prioritized what is important.

3. Great Friends/Support System. It's a scientific truth that you are the average of your five closest friends. If your friend's lives are out of balance then yours most likely is too. If you show me your friends then I'll show you your future. Friends impact our decisions to survive the "daily grind" more than anybody else does. Want to live a more effective and more balanced life then maybe you need different friends who will actually help you thrive and not just survive through the "daily grind!"

Anything else that you would add to this list (other than coffee :)