The Most 'Forceful' Relationship in YOUR Life....and Why it Matters!

The most forceful relationship you will have in your life is with your father. Don't get me wrong, you will have other relationships in your life that will influence you. Your relationship with your mother, wife, children, and closest friends will all mold and shape you. I chose the word forceful with carefulness because it connotes just how deeply God grafts and shapes us through our relationship with our father. Every person has to come to grips and is forced to reflect on how their father has impacted them during their life.

Did you know that the word "father" is mentioned more than 1,100 times in the Bible. God has created father's to play a prominent role in our lives. Yet, 1 out of 3 children live in fatherless homes. To see how this is impacting our world and the next generation this article from the Art of Manliness will shed more light.....Article: The influence fathers and fatherlessness has on children.

Regardless of whether you had a good father or a bad father. Whether your father was present or absent. Whether he had many strengths or many weaknesses. (By the way, every person has at least some weaknesses). Our relationship with our father shapes and molds us as people in very deep, pronounced, and forceful ways.

Here is why we are forced to think through our relationship with our father 

1) How we view our father deeply impacts how we view the Father! Your relationship with your dad will force you to think and surmise what your relationship with your Father is like. Why are many people so mad at God? Because they are mad at their father and parents. We can't get past the analogy that God is our Father. When we think of God as our father the next logical step is for us to think through our relationship with our earthly father.

2) A father's primary job deals with leadership. The greatest leadership lessons we will learn are from our fathers EVEN if we learn what not to do. God created fathers with the express purpose of teaching us leadership. 

3) A father's role is unique. You will only have one biological father. You might have multiple children. You might get divorced and remarried and have multiple spouses in your lifetime. Even if you have a stepfather when you say the word "Daddy" it generally refers to the person who you look to as father the most.

We as people are forced to think through the dynamics of our relationship with our father. If done in a healthy way it will lead to forgiveness and gratitude. If done the wrong way it can lead to bitterness, anger, and resentment. The choice is yours.

Want Your Church to Grow? Emphasize Kids Ministry! Here's Why........

During our Youth Sunday I had the opportunity to help serve within our children's ministry. This was a rare treat for me as I typically preach on Sunday's. One of the reasons why I am excited about Legacy Church is that one of our values is that we send our best leaders to develop our youth! Much of our growth as a church has happened because of our emphasis in reaching and helping families.

Here is why YOUR church should emphasize children's ministry

1) "I know you care for me if you care for my kids!" The best way to show that you care for parents is to develop the best children's ministry that you can. As a parent I will do anything to ensure that my child gets what is best. If a parent's children are safe, growing in their walk and understanding of Jesus, and are having fun, then what more would a parent want! If you focus on reaching older generations then you will reach older generations. If you focus on reaching younger generations you will reach both younger and older generations. 

2) Your town demographics are younger than you realize! Unless you live in a retirement community in Florida my guess is that you'd be surprised at how young your town/city/area truly is. You can simply find age demographics of where you live on the internet. If you want to be relevant within your town then you need to think like the people in your town think.

3) Jesus cares for kids! If Jesus prioritized time with children then we should too. In fact, Jesus stated it bluntly when he said "that the kingdom of heaven belongs to these (children)!" There is awe and wonderment at discovering who Jesus is as a child. Working with children will help us as adults remember and rediscover that excitement for Jesus!

4) Your best ideas will come from those who are younger! What the younger generation lacks in wisdom they make up for with creativity and ingenuity. There are forms and different ways to do church that have not been thought of yet, but they will be by this next generation. You should always think of including younger people when brainstorming ideas that deal with the future of your church!

5) It's an investment for the future that pays big dividends! Children's ministry helps a church right now but it will also pay HUGE dividends years down the road. The children at your church will always have a heart for your ministry because it was were they learned and grew in their walk with Jesus. A church's best hires almost always come from within the church! Who knows you might be developing and grooming the next children's volunteer or pastor for your church!

We have a great children's volunteer team!

These two students won bookbags at our Back to School Kick Off!

Child Dedications are very special. This was our 4th child born in as many months! #LegacyBoom

How To NOT Grow Apart From Your Spouse!

As a pastor the #1 reason for divorce when I counsel couples has become increasingly prevalent. The couple simple started to grow apart from each other. Many times this happens slowly over years. Other times the relationship is volatile from the get go and to "keep the peace" they simple grow apart so as not to deal with the issues. Eventually they grow so far apart as a couple that they just give up and move on from their marriage. 

Marriage is a gift YET it is hard work. As a husband the hardest person to lead in the world is my wife. The reason behind that is because my wife knows everything about me sooner and in a deeper way than anyone else. If I am not leading myself then she'll think of me as selfish or hypocritical and won't respond to my leading. (If your not growing as a person don't expect your spouse to grow with you or closer to you as well). 

Here are the top 5 things a couple should do to not grow apart from their spouse!

1) Chase Jesus! Two people chasing hard after Jesus will naturally come closer to each other. It is an inevitability. If you both are trying to reach your lost neighbors the fact that you are on mission together will bring you closer together. If you pray together before meals or before going to bed at night you will be closer to each other. I have never met a couple who BOTH were chasing hard after Jesus and who grew apart in their marriage! 

2) Have a joint checking account! Money shows where our heart is at. If I look through your checking account in very little time I can tell you what you care about because it's what you spend your money on. If you truly want to grow together and are ONE then your finances need to reflect that as well. (It's perfectly ok to have separate accounts within your joint checking account where each couple has a smaller personal fund that they can spend on fun items for themselves but this needs to be talked upon and agreed upon together). Too many couples have strings attached or are guarded when it comes to their finances with each other. This provides tension within the relationship because it reflects distrust within the relationship and makes it harder for you to grow as a couple. Trust me, a joint checking account is a must. 

3) Spend time together! You don't need to spend every waking minute together and so suffocate your relationship BUT you should spend more time with your spouse, in general, then with any other person in the world! (There are various circumstances that this is not possible - military, work limitations, overseas schooling, etc., but you get my drift). A couple has to have enough in common that they can do fun recreational things together. If you don't have common recreational interests as a couple then sacrifice and do something that your spouse enjoys even if you don't enjoy it. You will have a good time because your spouse is having a good time. 

4) Talk about the future! Cars every now and then need to get a realignment because parts start moving away from each other. Couples need realignments too to make sure you are moving together in every aspect. The best money you will ever spend is in getting marital counseling even just to align yourselves better for the future. You can't afford to not be aligned together as a couple!

5) Serve each other! Part of growing apart from each other is that we selfishly want to do what we want to do. If you try and do simple things for your spouse and serve them it will naturally grow you closer together. Selfish couples grow apart while selfless couples come together!