What ONE YEAR of MARRIAGE will teach you!

I have been married for a year!

In no other time period in history will I be married for exactly a year. I took some time therefore to think about all that I have learned about marriage within this past year.

 

Top Things a Year of Marriage will Teach You

 

1. You don't really know someone until you live with them! The inverse is equally true in that you don't fully know yourself until you live with someone. For example, I never knew that I snored. Living with someone will help you not only come to a full understanding of who they are but a full understanding of who YOU are!
2. Everyone has areas of particularity (some of which you will never understand!) Make sure you know your spouse's areas of particularity so you can honor them through your actions. For example, my wife wants the trash taken out to the road for pick-up every week (even if there is just a small bag in the trash can). This is important to her, therefore, it needs to be important to me!
3. You'll get invited to do more things with other couples! Newly wed couples are looking to forge a new marriage identity and this motivates them to do things with other newly wed couples.
4. Learning how a person communicates and how you as a couple communicates is imperative! In every couple there tends to be a person that is more direct and confrontational while their spouse tends to be more indirect and subtle in handling conflict. The key is that the direct person needs to be gentler and more intuitive in dialogue while the indirect person needs to learn to be more frank and direct. Meeting each other half way in the middle and not criticizing each other's communication methodology is key.
5. You will accrue a lot of stuff! Trust me.
6. Much joy comes from doing something that makes the other person happy! My wife knows that I love fishing and the beach so we do that sometimes together as dates. My wife loves ice hockey games so I do that sometimes with her as a date. You'll get more joy out of your marriage if your selfless.
7. Allow intimacy to develop! Many couples based off of previous relationship experiences never allow their spouse to fully see their heart, plans, and desires. Allow the other person in on your life. My wife and I pray every night before going to sleep. This builds a spiritual atmosphere of trust and gives me a sneak peak into what is important within my wife's mind.
8. Understand that your spouse is God's BEST for YOU! Why should my eyes wander and look at someone else? My spouse is God's best for ME.
9. Don't stop holding hands!
10. Make future goals together! Dream together. Do things TOGETHER!
11. You will get your feelings hurt! Make sure you push through your emotions and do the right thing by owning up to your mistakes.
12. Expect major road blocks, especially early on! Every couple that I talked with encountered major roadblocks within the first few months of their marriage. It will happen to you but that's why God has given you someone else to help you navigate through those times together.
13. Explore together! Take trips and do adventurous things together. This will help keep your marriage fresh.
14. Give yourself room to breath and develop as individuals. Learn that it's good if your spouse has other friends that they are able to do things with. There is not a whole lot of solitude when married so embrace and enjoy those quiet times to reflect and develop yourself.
15. It gets better! So far I can honestly say that I love my wife more today than I did yesterday.

Happy One Year Anniversary KIM!

 

I'd get married again today to you KIM!