How to React When Teens Question if God is Real!

I regularly encounter and talk with parents who become alarmed when their teenager tells them that they are questioning God's existence or they've come to the conclusion that they are atheists.

 

Here's how a parent should respond:

 

1. Do not FREAK out! When you freak out you are more apt to over react and actually push your teenager farther from God.

 

Show unconditional love to your teenager. Your teenager is testing you to see if you love them even if they come to opposing conclusions about life as you do. If you do not love them through this trying time they will use that as evidence against you that God does not exist.

 

2. Understand that this is NORMAL! Teenagers are weighing what they believe against what they have been taught. In my experience, this happens routinely when teenagers are around the 10th grade. During this phase of life they think concerning questions about their freedom. All teenagers this age are asking the question: Why should I believe?

 

3. LISTEN and ASK QUESTIONS! In almost every case the teenager has been in deep thought, albeit it quietly, about this issue. Never give answers but give them an opportunity to voice their thinking and listen attentively.

 

4. Make a BET with them! Have your teenager understand that you are happy that they are seeking truth. Let them know that they are free to believe what they desire, because in a few years they will be out of your home, but that they must do the appropriate amount of homework to find truth while under your care.

 

5. ENLIST support help! Once your teenager has agreed to find truth get other people on your team that can help you. Enlist the support of a youth pastor who can meet regularly with and give resources to your teenager. Enlist prayer support of other parents.

 

In my experience, if you love your teenager though this process and do not coerce but guide them to the truth and enlist the support of others, than in many cases your teenager will come to eventually embrace God. The key is that they felt like they were able to share openly and do this on their own terms.

 

While struggling as a parent you can always BET on God!



 



The Secret Sauce for Youth Ministry

I taught a youth ministry class at Grace College concerning foundational principles within youth ministry. The goal was to help the students understand practically and pragmatically how to run a youth ministry.

I had the opportunity to share with them the secret sauce to our youth ministry. We measure how well we are doing in our youth ministry against the 5 W's.

A youth ministry should focus on:
1. Welcoming others - This is the #1 reason why people remain at a church
2. Worship - Help others see that God is working daily in their lives
3. Witnessing to others - Focus on reaching out to unsaved people
4. Word - A time to study and be sharpened by God's Word
5. Walk - Accountability and sharpening by others

Practical Ways To Welcome

 Create a culture where people feel accepted!

 

- Adults sit with teenagers
- Teenagers positioned to greet first time guests
- Everyone has a voice or the ability to share during small group
- Must be modeled by the youth pastor. Things are caught rather than taught
- Never underestimate the attitude of complacency or being ok with the status quo within a youth ministry. You must lead people or they will naturally form cliques.

Practical Ways to Worship

Create experiences where teenagers connect and understand God is working

- Testimonies should happen regularly within your youth group
- Get them to see God is working every day
- Create moments that use imagery and symbolism to cement decisive youth group moments
- Make sure that you raise up teenagers in the youth band

Practical Ways to Witness

Create a sense of urgency within your youth ministry for lost people. Evangelism is the engine that drives your youth ministry.

- Youth pastors who evangelize have students who evangelize. Youth pastors’ who don’t evangelize have students who don’t. Visit teenagers on their turf.

- Provide practical training and give them something to hand to people
- Make sure they are trying to reach at least one person for Jesus
- Have outreaches to teenagers by teenagers and outreaches to the community by teenagers
- Take teenagers on mission trips. Send teams locally, regionally, and internationally.

 

Practical Ways to Word

Create ways in which students can learn and know God’s Word

- Give them devotional materials. Most teenagers won’t study God’s Word unless you give them something and challenge them. Hold them accountable

- Small Groups are discussions of the lesson and they use God’s Word
- Teach teenagers to pray on their own
- Give Bibles out to teenagers who get baptized or as gifts

 

Practical Ways to Walk

Teenagers are looking for people who will lovingly correct them. They will thank you for it.

- Every student needs to be paired up with a small group leader. Leader charts attendance and if students did their devotionals. Leader texts them/contacts them throughout the week to encourage them.

- Only allow teenagers up front who are walking the walk even if they are not as skilled.
- Focus attention on your student leadership. Hold them to a high standard!
- Mentor one student. Focus time on three aspects: Word, practical ministry, accountability
 Remember, do not be afraid to lovingly confront others. God calls us to do it (Matthew 18)

I find that within many youth ministries the focus is on a few of the 5 W's and they can become unbalanced. The goal is to become a balanced and holistic youth ministry that focuses on these 5 W's.

Where do you think your youth ministry or small group or church fits within the 5 W's paradigm?

The Nicest Compliment I've Ever Received After Officiating a Wedding!

I've officiated a number of weddings. I've received a number of compliments and remarks throughout the years. I will never though forget a compliment from a father of the bride given at my latest wedding.

 

As the reception was winding down I went over to the father of the bride to congratulate him and wish him well. He turned and stated that many members from his family had remarked that I had done a good job officiating the wedding and asked where the father of the bride found me.

 

He stated these words that were very meaningful to me: "I didn't find the pastor, I guess, He found us!"

 

I do not officiate weddings so I can wax eloquently or build myself up. I officiate weddings to be a blessing to others so that God's glory may be multiplied.

 

You see the bride of this wedding found Jesus through our youth ministry years ago. She told her family so that they in turn found Jesus.

 

I was intentional through the years at trying to be a blessing to this family and the father of the bride insinuated this through his remark.

 

His remark motivated me. Something you say or do can help set a young person's path for the rest of their lives. I want to help as many young people run hard after Jesus as possible.

 

Isn't that why Jesus came to earth in the first place: to seek and to save the lost?

 

This wedding will be a great reminder to me to continue to reach and invest into people. At the end of the day it's people that truly matter!

 

Some dear people whom I love are in this picture! Congrats again!

Hope for the Heart Broken!

When people lose a loved one or suffer from a "break-up" it causes grief, confusion, and hurt.

 

Having a broken heart hurts. I've been there as I've suffered through a broken engagement myself.

 

People really do hurt and feel pain when heart broken. In fact, recent research has shown that emotional pain and physical pain are closely connected. Both types of pain impact the same parts of the brain.

 

If you don't believe me read this article..



http://www.psychologicalscience.org/index.php/publications/observer/2013/february-13/why-love-literally-hurts.html

 

Therefore, emotional pain can hurt and feel just as real as physical pain. On top of that, while physical pain can quickly go away the memories of a broken heart can last longer.

 

 

As someone who has dealt with the pain and anguish of a broken heart here are a few suggestions:

 

1. Give yourself time to grieve. Be ok not understanding your emotions. You may cry and not really know why. You truly are hurting. Being open and vulnerable is a good part of the healing process.

 

2. Maintain a good balance of time with others and time alone. Some people will advocate that you need to stay busy after the tragic loss of a relationship. I would argue that you need to stay active with others, but do allow yourself some alone time to process, evaluate, and grieve. When you are alone, you are not truly alone, you can dialogue and connect with God. Balancing your time with yourself and with others is key after getting your heart broken.

 

3. Understand that God is allowing your pain for the good of others. In the future, you may have an opportunity to connect with someone who has gone through a similar situation. God, may also be refining within you certain qualities through a dark time in your life which He will use in the future. We individualize pain, but don't forget that there is a corporate element. This is why the Bible tells us to carry each others burdens (Galatians 6:2).

 

4. Verbalize and regurgitate your feelings to a trusted individual at appropriate times. Don't bottle up your pain. Talking out loud will help you process what you are feeling.

 

5. Cling to the promises of God. God will always hold up His end of the bargain. God will never leave your or forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:6). God will give you comfort in your times of trouble (2 Corinthians 1:3-5). God will provide strength when we need it (Psalm 46:1).

 

There is a lot of heart break in the world. To all who read this blog, I just prayed for YOU!



 

Why God Mandates Rest and a Sabbath - Reason for the Cosentino Baby Moon!

Genesis 2:2-3
"By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done."

The God of the universe instituted rest during the creation week. Now, do you really think that God NEEDED to rest? If He is omnipotent (all powerful) then He should have the stamina to finish seven days of creation, right? God rested on the seventh day to be a model and to set an example for all of human kind.

Did you know that researchers have found out that a perfect work week constitutes six days of work and a seventh day of rest? They have experimented with different lengths of work weeks and have found that people accomplish and feel productive while still being refreshed when they work six days and rest a seventh.

Rest refreshes you and reenergizes your soul. It helps you get perspective back.

Most importantly, rest allows you to hear from God. The God of the Universe speaks loudest during the quietest of times.

Psalm 46:10
"He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”

To best know God one needs to be still. To be quiet. To be refreshed in the tranquility of being in the hands of a loving God.

If you are having trouble hearing from God may I suggest that you may be too busy listening to the voices and noises of life so that you've drowned God out. Don't run away from silence, embrace the quiet times, because He is listening and speaking!

During the first week of August my wife and I had an opportunity to refresh and listen from God. We spent a week on a small cottage overlooking a lake on Manitoulin Island. Manitoulin Island is the largest freshwater island in Lake Huron within Canadian waters.

During our week we had an opportunity to do some sightseeing on the island, fish on the lake, enjoy each other's company, (and the company of our little one as I felt our baby kick for the first time there), and refresh in God.

Simply put the week was good for our marriage and for our walk with God. We learned to enjoy playing late night card games which we've continued to do and found out that we were taking a 'Baby Moon', (vacation before the baby arrives).

Most importantly, while sitting on a boat amidst the expanse of a great lake I had the opportunity to cry out and hear from God. It was an opportunity to hear from my Daddy that I'll never forget.

Are you being refreshed in God? Are you looking to hear from God's voice or has it been drowned out?

A picture of the view from our cottage. What a scenic and beautiful place!

Ready for Prime Time - Axis Kickoff Recap '15

After two years of laying a foundation and pushing forward I believe our Axis youth program is ready to take the next step in physical and numeric growth. It's obvious that God is up to something.

 

Here's why:

1. We had the best summer of youth ministry since I've been here. We sent 36 teenagers on mission trips. We sent 104 teenagers to the Momentum Youth Conference. At Momentum we had a break-through youth group time where sins were confessed and a hunger was bore to reach lost friends for Jesus!

 

2. God is molding our youth staff. We continue to add good Godly adults to our team. Adults are the glue to any youth ministry. Without them you can't properly disciple teenagers.

 

3. We had the best Fall Kick-Off since I've been here. We had 200+ teenagers in attendance. We had an awesome worship set, concert from hip hop artist 3CK, giveaways, and a time of testimony. We also have a large incoming 6th grade class that is hungry.

 

After our opening set when I was giving instruction from on stage the energy was overwhelming. The teenagers weren't talking but I could barely hear myself talk into a microphone because the energy of the room was that loud! Just think what can happen when all of that energy is channeled in a positive way!

 

We ended our night with Slip N Slide Kickball and all you can eat ice-cream. You can't go wrong with either.

 

4. Most importantly we've structured ourselves for future growth. We have a student leadership team that will meet before youth group every Wednesday to pray and receive instruction as to how they can be on mission and have a greater role within our youth group. This past Wednesday I had teenagers staying late to clean-up and to even put chairs back. God wants workers in His harvest field and many of our teenagers are ready to get their hands dirty. We've also changed our youth group times making it easier for families with Sr. Highers to keep their teenagers plugged into the action. I've learned that you need to start acting and structuring yourself for future growth, even before growth occurs, otherwise why would God bring those teenagers to you if you aren't ready?

 

This has the opportunity to be a huge year of numerical and spiritual growth for our teenagers. It's generation NOW time.

 

Even though I may be a veteran youth ministry....I still got some Slip N Slide Kickball game!

Making Your Mark on Your Neighborhood As A Family!

This past Sunday I had the opportunity to preach on the importance of having your family be on mission within the neighborhood that you live in.

 

 

Here's why making your mark on your neighborhood as a family is so important:

 

1. God has called for you to live in a specific neighborhood. There are no "second class" neighbors.

 

Acts 17:26a - "From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth."

 

Here Paul is preaching against the nationalistic Greek belief that if you aren't a Greek than you are a barbarian or at best a second class citizen. All human beings, including your neighbors, are image bearers of God and have value, worth, and meaning. There are no second class neighbors.

 

In fact, if you feel you are 'too good' for your neighbors than you are 'too good' for God! Jesus left his neighborhood in heaven to live and reside in the roughest of neighborhoods here on earth (John 1:14).

 

2. God has purposefully given you your neighbors.

 

Acts 17:26b - "and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands."

 

God has determined not only when we should be alive but exactly where we should live. Everything and everyone God has put in our place is for a reason, including your neighbors. Instead of complaining about what you don't have be thankful for what you do have (because God has given it to you for a purpose!) Use whatever he has given you: a yard, pool, TV, cooking gift, mechanical skills to invite your neighbors over and impact them for good.

 

If reaching your neighbors is difficult realize that the Bible tells us to love our neighbor and to love our enemies, probably because many times they are the same people! You can fulfill two commandments with one action. God has given you your neighbors for a specific purpose, be the initiator and not the instigator.

 

3. Making your mark in your neighborhood as a family will save the souls of your family and your neighbors!

 

Acts 17:27 - "God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us."

 

The reason why God has placed people within your neighborhood who don't know Jesus is so that through Christians examples they would seek and reach out to God. This includes your own family.

 

Your family won't come to Jesus if they don't see that Jesus is important to you! More is at stake than your neighbor's souls, everyone who lives under your roof their souls are at stake too. When you live your life on mission for God it will become infectious within your family. You will be teaching them values of service, ministry, and living your life on mission!

 

If you are afraid to reach your neighbors remember that God "is not far from any one of us." You may be the closest thing to Jesus that anyone knows or sees. Be bold because the living God lives inside of you and me!

 

 

 

As I start my family, may my little girl come to love Jesus because her parents take God's commands to love their neighbors seriously!