Why you are in DEEP TROUBLE unless you have THIS.......

You are in deep trouble unless you have FRIENDS! When I say friends, I mean true and loyal friends. At the end of the day having true friends could make or break you. Here's why:

1) Research states that YOU are the average of your FIVE closest friends! Your friends influence every area of your life. You are the average of your friends financially, physically, morally, and spiritually. For example, if your friends are pursuing Jesus you most likely are pursuing Jesus. If your friends are partying every weekend you most likely are partying every weekend. You are the average of your five closest friends!

2) There are very few TRUE and good friends! Research states that the average American can only name two close friends. 25% of Americans say they have ZERO friends! Our world is full of flaky friends. It's hard and very difficult to find people who will stick by you.

3) Without friends you are just one tragedy away from disaster! Every person will go through a difficult season in their life. Without friends many people fall into despair and hopelessness. True friends will help pick you up.

Proverbs 18:24 - "One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother."

4) The only way to connect deeply with others is if you walk with them through their pain! There is a deep connection and bond that is forged when we walk with others and are present in their pain and sufferings. Simply put, we impress others through our strengths but we connect with them through our weaknesses. If you want true community then you need to be vulnerable with your friends.

 

5) Friends will sacrifice for your behalf! A true friend won't keep tabs or bill you later. They will sacrifice time, energy, and effort because they love and care for you. If you want to go far in life do it with friends. It may be messier, BUT you'll work together as a team and sacrifice for the good of each other.

I believe this with all of my heart, all of us are one friend away from changing our destiny! One friend could be the difference between hope and despair. One friend could be the difference between community and isolation. One friend could be the difference between heartfelt counsel and vindictive indictments when we do wrong. One friend could change your destiny!

Therefore, if you want a friend BE a friend! Be a person who is loyal, faithful, and is present when others are struggling. You can only attract a loyal friend if you are a friend first!

What Little Girls Do To Their Daddy's!

Having a child is a life changing experience. Having a girl as a Cosentino is just plain radical. My family has a strong tradition of having boys with the occasional girl sprinkled in. I just assumed our family was going to be more boy dominated and when I found out that my wife was pregnant with a girl I knew that this would shape and change my thinking in a strong and dynamic way. God has used my daughter Charis to help me see my family and the world around me differently. Here's how:

1) Protective - Having a girl makes you more protective as a father IN ALL AREAS that deal with abuse towards girls and women. I feel more passionately and pray more fervently for sexual slavery and for women's abuse issues. There are so many helpless and hopeless girls and women who so desperately need a father or a man to come to their rescue. If the world was full of father's who were protective of their daughters then the slavery and sex industry would come to a screeching halt!

2) Responsible - Having a girl makes me a more responsible man. I am charged with modelling for my daughter what a Godly husband and a father look like. In fact, her image and view of God will be shaped directly with how I treat, discipline, and care for her. 

3) Inquisitive - As a man I am in awe and wonderment at what a little girl's brain thinks and how it operates. I don't fully understand how a little girl can be jumping and rough housing around one minute and then modelling clothes and playing with her dolls the next. God has created women to act and respond in a unique and special way and I get to see this unfold and develop before me from the ground up with my daughter. 

4) Forward Thinking - I think more about the vision and future of our family having a daughter. While our society and culture has become more inclusive and open towards a woman's role in the workplace and home I need to be a visionary. In thinking about the future I will be able to see the roadblocks she will face down the road  to conform within the norms and pressures of society. I've been more apt to think about how God has wired her, what barriers she will face growing up, and how I can help her overcome those barriers!

Is there anything else? How has having a daughter changed you?!?

How To Adopt A Giving Mentality!

Think of the person that you admire the MOST in life. My guess is that they are one of the most generous people that you know. Giving is naturally linked with personal satisfaction. When we as humans are self-indulgent we will eventually feel guilty, depressed, and worthless. BUT when we give of our time, talents, and resources to others we feel as though we have made a difference in our world. Simply put, giving helps us to find purpose above and beyond ourselves. 

Ecclesiastes 5:10 - Those who love money will NEVER have enough. How meaningless to think that wealth brings true happiness!

The question then arises: How can we adopt a giving mentality?

1) See giving as a "test" of what is in your heart! Jesus states that "wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be (Matthew 6:21)." Simply put, what you spend your money on shows what you care about in life! If someone would do an audit of your personal checking account it would become very obvious to them what you care about. If you care about others and truly want to find satisfaction in life you will give of your time, talent, and resources. If you are a Christian, giving shows that you truly believe in the promises of God that He will bless faithful givers. 

2) Give REGULARLY! The only way to adopt a giving mentality is to give regularly. Giving should become a habit. Habits become the fibers of our character or the very essence of our beings. Get in the habit of giving a regular percentage of your salary to church or other non for profit causes. Get in the habit of picking up the tab when you go out to lunch with someone. Get in the habit of going through your cell-phone and calling people who come to your attention who need help. The most generous people are so because they've been doing it regularly for awhile and have made giving a habit. 

3) SERVE! Serving and volunteering is simply another outward expression of giving. As a pastor the most important aspect to assimilate and help people become connected members of the local church is to get them to serve. When you serve you have ownership of a particular ministry or area. When you have ownership you have "skin in the game" and will really care about what you are investing time, energy, and resources towards. It's easy to write a check, but are you willing to roll up your sleeves too?

4) If you feel compelled to Give then GIVE! Many times God prompts our heart to give toward a cause or we feel like we need to give YET we rationalize why we shouldn't give. We move that prompting to the back of our mind and quickly forget about it. In general, a person has 10 seconds to act on a prompting or they never will. People who are generous not only give regularly but they give to needs that God brings across their radar and that tugs at their heart too!

I'm curious, what are some other ways in which YOU have seen in others or you are personally trying to adopt to help you become a more generous person?

How to determine your CALLING in life!

A person's calling is one of the least talked about and self reflected parts of our being. When I use the word "calling" I am referring to God's primary purpose and direction for one's life. A calling pushes you to give up short term satisfaction for long term gain. A calling helps determine everything in our lives!

For example, God has called me to be a husband and a father. There are many trying and difficult days when I don't feel like being a husband and a father. There are many days when my wife doesn't feel like being a wife or a mother. Why do we continue on? Because we are called by God to persevere in our marriage and with our family. We give up the short term satisfaction of quitting and moving on for the long term health and growth of each other and our family. 

I believe this with all of my heart; The greatest calling you need to answer in life is whether or not you'll accept Jesus as Savior! If you answer the call of God on  your heart then your entire life and perspective will change. 

I believe God has created every person to a unique calling and purpose in life. The question is: What is God calling YOU to do and to become? How can you determine the call of God in your life?

The answer: Pain. God often uses our deepest pain as the launching pad for our greatest calling! Part of the reason we all have struggles in life is because God is using those struggles to perfect us and to refine our calling. Our pain can be someone else's gain! 

Think to yourself: In what areas have you experienced the most pain, grief, depression, or hurt? I know that God is calling you to use that for good. When we are weak then we are strong (because we have to rely upon God). When we are at our lowest God speaks to us the loudest. When we are unsure of our future God is calling us to persevere toward a brighter future. 

My guess is that you have something that God has laid upon your heart that you now feel called to do. Here's my advice: Stop talking yourself out of what God has called you to do! It's easy to rationalize or to let fear win the day. Don't play it safe. You my have failures in answering this call. Yet, just the satisfaction of knowing that you are doing God's will should be enough for you. Very few answer the call. Will you?

A Letter to My Daughter's Future Husband!

To the future husband of my daughter,

          Nothing brings me greater joy then to see God work in my daughter's life and to watch Him provide for her. Up until this moment I have been the primary source of God's provision for Charis. Now that source of care, comfort, and responsibility is shifting to you. Before I say anything else I want to let you know that I am FOR you! I want your marriage to be healthy and to be all that God intends a Christ-centered marriage to be. I will not meddle in your affairs. I will support you as the leader of your new household. I will not gossip or cut you down in front of my daughter. We are not a perfect family, but we are a praying family. My wife and I have been praying for you way before Charis was even born. To join this family you must realize that there will be heated discussion and arguments at times, (it was your decision to marry into this Italian family by the way), but that at the end of the day we respect each other and admit our shortcomings. 

        A person's last name is significant. My daughter has a full understanding of what it means to be a Cosentino. Very shortly she will be giving up her last name for your last name. Make sure that you uphold the dignity and honor of being a man and protect the legacy of your name and household. I expect you to be the gatekeeper of your home. To monitor what comes in and out and to protect my daughter and your family. You ARE the spiritual leader of your home. If you don't take up the mantle of spiritual leadership my daughter will do it in your stead, and will come to resent you for it. Charis is a natural leader. Use her giftedness to your advantage as a married team. Yet, you must be the spiritual head. You are the one to bravely lead her and your family into uncertainty as our world continues to grow dark. I can assure you that my daughter is not a quitter. She will not quit on your marriage. A Godly man never gives up. The Bible says that even though a Godly man falls seven times he gets back up again. We expect you to take risks, to make mistakes, and to struggle at times. You'll be measured by how well you get back up and try again!

        You won't understand this until you have a daughter of your own but just hear me out. Charis will always be "my little girl" and I'll always be her "Daddy." Nothing will change that. What will change is that you are now the "main man" in her life and that's a good thing. My wife and I are excited to have you as part of the family! 

Legacy Church Update - Growing Pains!

Over the course of the past few years I've read lots of books and articles on church health and growth. There are plenty of explanations from "the experts" as to how and why some churches grow and other's don't. Before you read this blogpost any further the bottom line is simple.

God is in charge of His church and He grows it how He pleases. 

Don't get me wrong. There is human responsibility AND strategy is vital to the health and growth of churches. Yet, at the end of the day God grows His church despite our inadequacies as people and leaders. That concept is simply fascinating!

Approximately six months ago Legacy Church really started to pick up steam. I have no plausible explanation for it. We didn't do anything different. God was simply building His church.

As Legacy Church continues to grow and make in-roads with our community it's exciting but not easy. Whenever there is growth lots of things need to change. The structure needs to change or at least be tweaked in order to properly and effectively minister to the spiritual needs of people. The pace of church life increases. Ministry gets messier as you deal with the hurts and struggles of people. Setup as a portable church becomes more complicated as we have to increase our capacity in different ways.

There is no way around it. Growth is painful. Yet, growth is necessary for life and is good.

As I look to the future of Legacy Church I see a foundational year of growth. One in which we as a church prepare ourselves spiritually for what God has for us in the future.

Here are just a few glimpses (all praise to Jesus) in which God is growing His church and how we must be ready:

1) Our nursery has more than doubled in a year. We are launching a pre-school room on Sunday, February 4th. We are also thinking strategically on how to use our children's Sunday space to maximize our capacity in reaching children and their families. New things are coming soon!
2) We are adding another Life Group this semester! Our people are genuinely growing and experiencing community within our church.
3) We will be launching ministries to provide better care to those in our church as well as in our community within the next month or so.
4) This Sunday I challenged our people to pray for their friends and family BY NAME and we gave out almost all of the notebooks we bought to encourage our people to consistently pray for people's names. We are also starting a Bible Reading Challenge on Monday, Jan 15 and people are chomping at the bit to get started.
5) Our youth ministry, which partners with the CREW, is seeing lots of new students. Many of the students are part of  'work crews' in which they are helping to completely remodel the building for future growth.

Now is the time. Jesus is the answer. We must be ready. 

How to STOP the NFL Kneel Down Nonsense!

What is currently happening with the NFL could be stopped. Let's stop being afraid to step on people's toes and to simply call something "what it is."

For the record, I approve the NFL players right to raise awareness of social justice and inequality matters. As Americans we have freedom of speech. I do not approve of NFL players doing this during the national anthem as it is disrespectful to our great country in which we have so many freedoms that other countries do not have. (In my conversation with people I have found that most people feel the same way. Therefore, the players should be able to raise awareness yet do so in an appropriate and respectful manner. Here's how this can easily happen).

The problem arises with three parties. Here's what each should do.

1) Those in authority (President Trump/NFL Owners/Roger Goodell)

Stop provoking the players! Even though you may have a point or are right in your assessment of the situation cussing or name calling the players as prisoners isn't the right way to call them out. You are guilty of verbal injustice. Meet at the table with the players with respect and an open mind. Let them know that they are free to promote their cause but that they need to do so before or after the national anthem.

This practice is already being done in schools across the country. (For instance, Jehovah Witness students don't have to recite the pledge of Allegiance in schools, but they do need to honor and respect the flag with their posture). NFL players should have to do the same thing.

Mandate that the NFL players need to be respectful during the playing of the national anthem. If they are not they will be fined and the money goes to an organization that helps promote unity within our country (i.e. Help families of fallen soldiers, etc.). If you hit the players in the wallet they will stop, trust me.

2) The NFL Players

Understand that YOU ARE being disrespectful when you kneel during the national anthem!

Both of my grandpa's served in the United States Military. My grandpa Cosentino became a naturalized citizen and had to EARN the right to become an American. Countless men and women have given their lives to protect the freedoms that our country holds so dear. You can promote your cause before or after the national anthem. The ONE THING that we as Americans should all agree upon and be united for is that we ARE Americans!


3) You/The Viewer

Don't get caught up in the hysteria!

I don't watch the NFL because I learn or agree with the NFL players on issues of politics. I watch the NFL because I enjoy the game of football. Therefore, I can still watch a football game because I won't let what the players do to bother me. I do know plenty of people though who are more than bothered with what the NFL players are doing and have stopped watching football altogether. I understand and am ok with this stance. If you choose this route though don't complain about the NFL. The loss of viewership and money will put pressure on the NFL to change. You've done your part.


Lastly, it would help if the media would stop giving coverage to people who shouldn't be in the spotlight. The media though is always looking for "the big story". Asking them to do something like this is a waste because the media will never change.

This issue is a reminder that our country is DIVIDED. Exercising our "rights" will never win over the other side. Jesus laid down his "rights" for you and for me.